Dear Society...

Raising kids by today's standards are difficult for the simple fact that: Society wants young children to be well behaved in public, but they don't actually want us to discipline our kids. If we discipline our kids, we are abusing them and CPS needs to get involved. We can't have teaching moments out in public either because it gets in the way of the spectators (supposedly). 

My husband was on the receiving end of some public criticism a few weeks ago at Costco. We were in there picking up just a few items. Rowen decided that he needed down from the cart and then ran off. I mean, he ran. He definately is going to take after mommy and daddy as far as his running career! So, Rowen sprinted down one isle, turned and quickly sprinted down the next isle. Rowen is old enough to know what he was doing. He wanted to be chased. He thought it was fun, but he also knew it was wrong. Joe ran after him and stretched out his hand and managed to grab Rowen's upper arm. He swung him up so he was holding him in the cradle position, although his head was lower than his feet. From Joe's story (I was still with the other kids), an older woman sneered at him and said to him, "I consider that child abuse and you should be reported to CPS the way you handle him." Being that this was Joe's first huge society-step-in, he said he just pretended she had said nothing and then came back to us. Upon his telling the story to me, I said, "Where is she? Let me at her!"I was so peeved for him! Joe is such a good dad. He works hard for us to provide for our family and he treats our kids wonderfully. Actually, in most cases, I'm the disciplinarian. However, I'm just trying to illustrate the frustrations that common parents deal with when being out in society with their children.

Since Rowen is so little for his age, I've had a slew of people as he's progressed from baby stage to baby stage that: he is too little to be sitting up in the cart, he is too young to be eating solid food, he is too little to be walking next to the cart while I shop, etc. The list goes on. 

So with that I want to say:

Dear Society,

When I am out in public with my children, which I have every right to be, please allow me to instruct and use my outing as a hands-on educational tool. I want my kid to thrive and grow up to be a responsible adult but I know for that to happen, I'm going to have to deal with some terribly ugly situations because as any mother's luck would have it, those moments are going to happen regardless of whatever we try to do to prevent it. 

Our kids will always want to push the boundaries and for them, doing it in the very back corner of the store where they're surrounded by a ton of people is the best way to see what mom or dad will do. So please, continue your shopping and ignore my screaming child and my teaching moment. The more looks (nasty or concerned) will only feed my child's behavior. I am not the parent that wants to bribe them to get the behavior I want to see in the store because it never works and next time they will just want more! 

If I so happen to yell back at my child or grab them a little rough, know that in that moment, I don't want to be doing that but I have probably reached the end of my rope. I know I need a lot more grace and this isn't always the way my shopping trips turn out, but this just happened to be one of those days I guess. By God's grace, I want the next shopping trip to be better. And it can if I can get this teaching moment across to my child but I can not do it if you step in and ruin it by thinking you know how to parent my child better than me. 

Know that I love my child more than anything and this one moment that you got to peer into my life does not mean you know what my family's lives must be like. We are a stable home and provide a stable environment for our children. We are Christians and teach our children valuable life lessons (like "Honor thy father and mother"). Some days are great and while others may be not-so-great, our children go to bed every night knowing that mommy and daddy love them very much. So please, when you get that glimpse at the grocery store, let me borrow some grace even if my family may be lacking in it at the moment.

Sincerely,

The Mama that Cares