My Week in review

Thanksgiving has finally come and gone. Now, everybody has their eyes on Christmas. Christmas! Just a few months ago it seemed I was ringing in 2012 and now 2013 is just around the corner. What was I doing that the year just flew by??? I remember back to when I was a kid and remembered when the days just dragged by. No longer, for sure!

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, but if you shared my experiences of being sick on the day that was supposed to be special and cheerful, I feel for you! I was sick, but luckily, the brunt of it held off until around 11pm Thanksgiving night--- Just long enough for me to go score a few deals at Walmart on Thanksgiving night! I bought 2 crockpots for just under $10 each. Now I will have 3 crockpots in my household. I'm sure you're kind of like my husband wondering why in the world any mother would need 3 crockpots. Well, I make things in bulk, such as spaghetti sauce and soups and then can it. Then, I will be the one person cooking for 13 adults and 6 children at Christmas. Having the extra crockpots will take off a lot of extra stress. I can make Christmas breakfast in one, have another warming the Christmas ham up and one more for my easy crockpot mashed potatoes. See, I am completely organized!

My other scores included just a simple electric griddle that I've had my eyes on. Of course, since I was at Walmart, I got several movies for a good deal. I love to take the movies and make little "movie night" gift baskets for people for Christmas. I get a good deal and they get a sweet Christmas gift. Although, I must admit, over 3/4 of my Christmas shopping is done. 

So, looking backwards though, I've actually had a rough week leading up to Thanksgiving and had to dig a little deeper to remember I have tons to be grateful for despite my losses for this last week. 

Last Saturday, we had to put one of our cats down because she has been quite sick. The toughest part of doing that was that she was one my daughters more favorite animals. Then later that same day, an accident happened and my dogs got out and my little chihuahua, Malcolm got out also. The big dogs came back but I'm 98% certain the chihuahua got stolen off of our road. No body to find so I don't think he got hit by a car and nothing in the shelters. I am taking this really hard as he was my dog. He curled up to me, he was my running buddy, and when I was sick, he laid by my head. I have very little hope he will return so I am trying to go through the grieving process. I think it would be much easier if I knew a car had run him over by accident versus somebody stopping and putting them into his car to keep. Anyhow, I've shed a lot of tears this week. I have only been attached to one animal before, but nothing compared to what I felt for Malcolm. 

Moving on... This next week my goal is to make a home-made advent calendar for my family. I got all the supplies this last week. I spend $50, but if my idea turns out, it will be well spent for the traditions it will bring my family for years to come! Stay tuned for that!

Happy Holidays everybody! Wellness to the Sick!

Rethinking Christmas

Christmas used to be my favorite time of the year when I was a child. Gifts. Lots of gifts! However, as a child I was strongly misled to believe that gifts were the most important part of Christmas. My parents did the best they could to indulge their kids. I don't blame them. What parent doesn't want to give their child everything?

My goal is to turn that indulgences from tangible things into emotional and memorable. My kids may seem disappointed for a few key years especially when they get to compare what they got for Christmas  versus what some friends received. 

Our generation has a choice to make a difference. I don't want to figure out how I'm going to pay for a day that will end up costing me  $1,000 between gifts and food. According to http://americanresearchgroup.com/holiday/, American's will spend $854 on Christmas gifts in 2012. To me, that is crazy to take anywhere near that much money out of my family's budget just to make everybody feel "happy" for a day. No matter what I do or how much money I spend, what I get will make somebody feel inadequate. 

The first step is to include your kids in every step possible and explain over and over that Christmas is not about the gifts that we receive or give; it's about spending time with the people we love and gifts would mean nothing without the people that gave them. Then, let all the people in your life that normally receive gifts know that the Holiday Seasons will start being different for your family in an effort to teach your children a better meaning of Christmas and to be grateful for the things we already have. Who in the world would be able to argue with that logic???

Then include your kids in making everybody homemade gifts-- something that shows love by time and effort being put into investing into that person. Isn't that what we all want? Somebody to invest into us? Something more than picking something off of a shelf that we won't remember by the time the next Christmas rolls around. 

Pintrest is full of wonderful ideas to make the holidays more memorable for our children. Make memories, not expectations.

Thankful Dinnerware for the Family

Like most parents, I want my children to be grateful for what they have in their lives. We are always together for at least one meal a day and it is my goal this month to make those together meals more meaningful in the time leading up to Thanksgiving. Showing my thankfulness on Facebook is great, but I think my kids are the one that needs to see more than anybody that their mom is grateful and content. 

So while I was at MOPS today, I was struck with a bit of inspiration. On my way home, I stopped at Fred Meyers and got 6 inexpensive beige fabric napkins (the ended up being around $1.30 each). At home I have lots of colorful Sharpies and I printed out some leaf stencils from www.craftjr.com (free).

The photo below is what I crafted in just an hour. My family will write down their thanks at our family meal and we can go around and discuss what and why we wrote. That's the plan. Let's see how well that goes. :)

What are some creative ways that you and your family express thankfulness? 

Dear Society...

Raising kids by today's standards are difficult for the simple fact that: Society wants young children to be well behaved in public, but they don't actually want us to discipline our kids. If we discipline our kids, we are abusing them and CPS needs to get involved. We can't have teaching moments out in public either because it gets in the way of the spectators (supposedly). 

My husband was on the receiving end of some public criticism a few weeks ago at Costco. We were in there picking up just a few items. Rowen decided that he needed down from the cart and then ran off. I mean, he ran. He definately is going to take after mommy and daddy as far as his running career! So, Rowen sprinted down one isle, turned and quickly sprinted down the next isle. Rowen is old enough to know what he was doing. He wanted to be chased. He thought it was fun, but he also knew it was wrong. Joe ran after him and stretched out his hand and managed to grab Rowen's upper arm. He swung him up so he was holding him in the cradle position, although his head was lower than his feet. From Joe's story (I was still with the other kids), an older woman sneered at him and said to him, "I consider that child abuse and you should be reported to CPS the way you handle him." Being that this was Joe's first huge society-step-in, he said he just pretended she had said nothing and then came back to us. Upon his telling the story to me, I said, "Where is she? Let me at her!"I was so peeved for him! Joe is such a good dad. He works hard for us to provide for our family and he treats our kids wonderfully. Actually, in most cases, I'm the disciplinarian. However, I'm just trying to illustrate the frustrations that common parents deal with when being out in society with their children.

Since Rowen is so little for his age, I've had a slew of people as he's progressed from baby stage to baby stage that: he is too little to be sitting up in the cart, he is too young to be eating solid food, he is too little to be walking next to the cart while I shop, etc. The list goes on. 

So with that I want to say:

Dear Society,

When I am out in public with my children, which I have every right to be, please allow me to instruct and use my outing as a hands-on educational tool. I want my kid to thrive and grow up to be a responsible adult but I know for that to happen, I'm going to have to deal with some terribly ugly situations because as any mother's luck would have it, those moments are going to happen regardless of whatever we try to do to prevent it. 

Our kids will always want to push the boundaries and for them, doing it in the very back corner of the store where they're surrounded by a ton of people is the best way to see what mom or dad will do. So please, continue your shopping and ignore my screaming child and my teaching moment. The more looks (nasty or concerned) will only feed my child's behavior. I am not the parent that wants to bribe them to get the behavior I want to see in the store because it never works and next time they will just want more! 

If I so happen to yell back at my child or grab them a little rough, know that in that moment, I don't want to be doing that but I have probably reached the end of my rope. I know I need a lot more grace and this isn't always the way my shopping trips turn out, but this just happened to be one of those days I guess. By God's grace, I want the next shopping trip to be better. And it can if I can get this teaching moment across to my child but I can not do it if you step in and ruin it by thinking you know how to parent my child better than me. 

Know that I love my child more than anything and this one moment that you got to peer into my life does not mean you know what my family's lives must be like. We are a stable home and provide a stable environment for our children. We are Christians and teach our children valuable life lessons (like "Honor thy father and mother"). Some days are great and while others may be not-so-great, our children go to bed every night knowing that mommy and daddy love them very much. So please, when you get that glimpse at the grocery store, let me borrow some grace even if my family may be lacking in it at the moment.

Sincerely,

The Mama that Cares

Don't Drown In Halloween Candy!

In honor up upcoming Halloween, I'm changing the color of my font to orange and black. Exciting for me! Yep, I'm really that lame of a mom that I can get excited about the color of a font!

As Halloween quickly approaches, I see lots of mommies scrambling to get costumes put together for their kids (which can be hard with multiple kids!). I would like to put out there for families that do coordinated family costumes, you are heroes in my book! I find costumes that fit my kids and then am done with it! 

So this blog is not to advise you on costumes. This is about the trick-or-treating night. Whether you are taking your kids trick-or-treating or just to a harvest party, think on safety. 

Helpful tips: 

Buy a strip of reflective tape at a sewing/craft store and cut off some decent strips and put it on the kid's costumes. Most tapes are iron-on adhesives so you don't actually have to sew. 

Before you head out, write your cell phone number on your kids in Sharpie on their arm or the back of their necks. Anywhere where an adult might look. Tell your kids that if you do get separated, find an adult that has other children with them and to show them the spot of the phone number. 

The day of Halloween, my kids and I sit down and talk about what the best part of Halloween is. I'm hammering it into them at a young age that trick-or-treating is a tradition that our family has been doing since Grandma and Grandpa were little kids and we go to show off the costumes and give other people joy from seeing wonderful costumes. I really try to draw the attention off of the candy. Then I tell them when we go trick-or-treating they can have 2 pieces of candy while we trick-or-treat. 

Our Family Rules with the Sacred Candy Collected:

Every kid gets their own bucket to put candy in, but Joe and I then carry a backpack that has extra supplies in it like water and diapers. Every 10 or so houses, we have all the kids dump their buckets of candy into the backpack and then continue on. 

At the end of the evening when we get home, we allow the kids to pick out one piece of candy for how old they are (i.e. Serenity is 6 years old, so she gets 6 pieces of candy). Then we talk about how important it is to give (like we do around Christmas) to the less fortunate who weren't able to go out trick-or-treating and we donate the rest of the candy. I know there are dentists out there that have programs or programs that send candy overseas to our troops. Check in your area for these programs.

Our kids don't cry and whine over this. They are used to it. I don't let them have that much candy any other time of the year, so why would I let this be an exemption to the family rules?

I know I've gotten both positive and negative feedback on our family's method of candy distribution, but let me ask you: Between school Halloween Parties, church parties, trick-or-treating and the slew of other treats that are right around the corner for Thanksgiving, do our kids really need that much junk???

Have fun and Safe Candy Collecting! :D

Moms Need a Break or They will Break

I'm pretty darn lucky that Joe learned really early in our parenting years that it was/is better for me to take time for myself than to have a clean house. Ideally, it would be nice if we could have both. 

Day in and day out, I constantly feel as if my wheels are spinning. You've all seen a car stuck in the snow, where the tires keep spinning and spinning and never seem to get anywhere. Being the only adult in the car, you hope if you keep giving it enough gas, you'll magically just get out of the rut you're in.

 Oh, mothering is so much like this analogy! 

Most days we just keep going through the motions and eventually we hit that rut and we just tell ourselves that we can make it through-- if we just hit that gas peddle a bit harder. However, when I do just that, crazy psycho mom comes out. I'm thinking I should give a name to that side of my split personality. ;)

I just saw in the news where a young mom glued her toddler's hands to the wall and kicked her until she landed in a coma! Initially I am just shocked, but as I think, and if I am truly honest with myself, I see a tiny bit of that crazy mom in myself. Of course I would never harm my children, but sometimes I can just feel my the grasp on my emotions just slip away. Those are the moments when my children will get an extra spanking, extra time-out, etc when maybe they just needed more mommy compassion. I think if we all could just take a step backwards sometimes and put the laundry, dishes, floors, cupboards; everything on hold, we could be better mothers. 

Well, I'm resolving to take a little bit more time for myself in the winter months to come. I'm going to squeeze any moment of me-time into my family's schedule that I can. I know it will be mostly done during nap time or after the kids go to bed, but so be it. I have also spent years grooming my kids to have quiet time in their bedroom so I can even have 10 minutes of sanity. That comes especially handy in the evening when everybody seems to have such a difficult time.

If you have young kids, start practicing putting them in their rooms for a few minutes and every day just add a few more minutes until you get up to 20-30 minutes. Start by explaining that every day after morning playtime or after lunch will be quiet time. The rules are, everybody gets to have quiet time-- including mama! Of course, make sure their room or playing area is safe and free of hazards. Pretty soon, you could add a few breaks into your day and everybody will be happier for it in the end! 

So what are some ways that you can save take a break? Breaks that are productive in furthering myself seem to replenish me the most because it makes me feel like somebody other than just a mother.

*Read a chapter in a book ( I like the Kindle on my iPhone because my kids know it's off limits)
*Take a bath
*Take a nap
*Get on the computer to socialize, educate yourself, or just play a game
*exercise (get a few DVD's that have 10-20 minutes segments so they're quick and in the winter time it's a great way to warm up if the house is a little chilly)
*Call a friend
*Start a devotional
*Journal or blog
* Enjoy a cup of tea, cocoa, or coffee
*Write somebody a hand-written letter
*Do a craft off Pintrest
*Pick a subject and learn a little each day (i.e.,  countries, math, science, etc)

I created a jar to pick one out. 

Mom's Time-Out Jar

As I tell my child mommy is picking her time-out task, they can pick something from the Fun Cup and I will do it with them after the time is up. The red sticks are for things that will take approximately 30 minutes or more and the green one is things that will take 10-20 minutes. So you can say, "We're going to pick a green stick today." 

The Fun Cup

Hope you find some mommy inspiration! Blogging is what I chose today. :D

The Portland Half Marathon

Yesterday I ran the 2012 Portland Half Marathon. Let me tell you, I surprised even myself! Think back to my earlier posts... I had surgery (4 of them!) eight weeks ago that took the full 6 weeks of recovery. Then I had a week and a half of training completed. I was able to run 4 miles around my house, which I was thinking: if I am running in a flat race maybe I can double my distance and run 8 miles of the race. I know, wishful thinking, right? 

Joe and I got down to Portland area Friday night and we walked up the the Multnomah Falls. It was beautiful since we got there right before sunset. Well, the bad news is I twisted my ankle coming down on the trail. It swelled a teeny bit but not too bad. The photos below are from our little hike.

Arriving at sunset

Multnomah Falls

Wasn't the trail beautiful?!

Joe and I at the top of the falls

So on race day, I am the second to last wave of runners set loose on the course. Of course I make sure I take my plethora of pain killers within an hour before I start. Just seconds after starting the race, I start feeling the pain in my ankle and I thought, "I'm going to be lucky if I can run two miles of this race!" However, I kept plugging along because I am passing people and you never want to stop when you're passing other runners! It's the best feeling of the race!!!

My Portland Marathon Race Bib

So my ankle keeps bothering me. From mile 2-4 it's a gradual uphill and I rock it! Going from mile 4-5 is a gradual downhill and I stop noticing my ankle bothering me. At this point, I'm still blowing by people which is kind of surprising because I wasn't really going that fast. I'm even catching up to the groups that were released before mine! I was feeling really good! The rest of the race from this point on is just flat. However, at mile 5 my knee catches up to me. However, I'm still passing people and I'm actually feeling really good so I'm able to pick up my pace for a few miles. I was able to down one of my cliff bars at this point in hopes I don't get as sick as I did after the Coeur 'd Alene half marathon. 

Starting at around 8 miles, my left quad and hamstring start pulling. It started pulling so hard I had visions of me walking through the finish line with my legs all locked up, so I just kind of put myself on cruise. At mile 10, I felt so committed to my pace I started thinking, "I can run this whole thing!" So I made the decision to keep cruising until I got to mile 12 and then I would try to pick up my pace as much as I could. At mile 12, my iphone goes off telling me my average pace and my overall time. I knew I was so close that I may actually come close to my Coeur 'd Alene half marathon time of 2 hour 2minutes. So for the last 1 point 1 mile, I kick it in with all the extra strength I have, which probably isn't saying a lot as my left quad was so locked up at that point! I rounded the finish line area and was able to give a good kick at the end and I finished with a time of 2 hours and 8 minutes! 6 minutes behind my best half marathon time just 8 weeks after surgery?!? I was blown away with myself! Below is the picture Joe's aunt took of me just before I crossed the finish. 

After finishing, my legs just locked. They pulled me over to the medical tent where I had my first full blown asthma attack. I mean I was sucking for air! I am grateful it only lasted a few minutes. I was able to go on and get my goodies, got my awesome medal. 

Joe and I after we both finished

These photos below are taken at a running store in downtown Portland. I must say, I think if Steve Prefontaine ever saw this, he would roll over in his grave! lol